Resilience in the face of complete and utter chaos.
I’m a planner. I set goals and make to-do lists. I set reminders on my phone for appointments and assignments. I think ahead. I meal prep with little bento boxes. I like to think I’ve got a good handle on things.
Until 2020.
2020 will forever be the year that put me in my place. The structure of my life has buckled like a house of cards. Every skill I would normally use to organize my life does not work right now. Any plan I try to make evaporates into thin air. Every day, I desperately try to keep up with changing health regulations, politics, employment status, school schedules, and the availability of toilet paper.
Again and again 2020 has laughed as I stumble through my days. Defeated and frustrated, I’ve accepted that I am not in control. Of anything. At all. Acceptance can feel a lot like failure, especially for a Type A control-freak. Here are a few strategies I’ve been using to cope with the chaos:
Seek immediate gratification.
No one likes a well-laid plan more than me. My backup plans have backup plans. But when each day brings a new set of challenges, it’s a waste of time to plan more than one or two days out. Stubbornly sticking to an outdated plan can cause more harm than good. I’ve stopped believing that long-term planning equals preparedness because this year, that’s simply not true. We have to stay nimble and reactive to new restrictions—and opportunities—as they pop up.
Rather than throwing on yoga pants and giving up completely, I try to find tasks that can be started and completed in a day. What can I actually get done in the next few hours? What can I accomplish before dinner? I make mini plans with micro goals because right now, life is a track meet not a marathon.
Let go and let God (or Goddess, The Universe, Karma, whatever).
It’s uncomfortable to give up control. For me, visualizing handing the reins over to a higher power is comforting. I don’t need to have all the answers because someone has my back. I can believe that better days will come even if I don’t have the plan to get there. I have faith that there’s a happy ending if I can just hang tight. There are proven psychological benefits of believing in a higher power and if nothing else, it’s really soothing.
Do what you can.
If necessity is the mother of invention, then Co-Vid is the mother of re-invention. Instead of focusing on what we’ve lost, let’s look at what we’ve got. Yes, unemployment is at an all-time high. But as more employers embrace a work-from-home model (at least for professional services), there are new opportunities to work. Entrepreneurship is also growing as we find ways to employ ourselves; non-profit organizations like SCORE are here to help. I predict that an education stimulus will become available to help close education and skills gaps. Be on the lookout for scholarships, trainings, and back-to-school incentives in 2021.
Embrace the change.
Things will never be the same. The world is forever different. Who knows when a vaccine will become available to enough people to stop the spread. The quicker we can accept that changes are inevitable–and some, permanent–the better we will cope. Not sure how? Check out my thoughts on change.
No one else knows what they’re doing either.
Take comfort in the fact that none of us knows what we’re doing. Everyone’s doing their best. In the absence of a strict guidance and full facts, I’m making educated guesses on most things. You probably are too.
On the bright side, you’re always right! Whatever you come up with is the right answer as long as you’re doing what’s best for you, your family, and your community. Make decisions based on the information you have on hand and a healthy dose of common sense. Rely on yourself when you can and ask for help when you can’t.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s to take things as they come. And just like that I can stop trying so hard to figure it all out.
Alana Belk 