Resolutions and changes at any age.
When was the last time you tried something new? Felt that nervous tingle in your belly, palms sweating as you step into your first day, your first time, your first try? The thrill of accomplishment when you finally master a new skill that seemed impossible a month ago? When was your last “first”?
Like anything else, change can add balance to your life when done mindfully. But change can be scary. Here’s a few tips to get started with those New Year’s resolutions:
Just do it.
Any change is good, especially when you’re feeling stagnant, discontent, frustrated, or lost. Research also continues to confirm that learning has positive effects on aging and helps us stay young. It’s important to embrace change as an avenue for growth. But here’s kicker: it doesn’t matter what you’re changing. In my experience, simply taking action in some part of your life creates positive momentum. You just have to pick something—anything–and do it.
Start small.
If you haven’t changed it up in a while, start small. The smallest drop can send ripples through still waters. You don’t have to turn your world upside-down all at once. If you have a goal that seems unattainable, break it up into smaller pieces and take the first small step. Easing into a small, obtainable change is a better move than biting off more than you can chew and giving up.
Try it on the cheap.
Cheap or free opportunities to explore new experiences and skills are available online. Sites like Groupon, MeetUp, Facebook and more a riddled with vendors who want new customers and groups who need new members. Want to get outside more? Search Facebook for local hiking and preservation groups in your area. Always wanted to play the guitar? Search on Groupon for discounted deals for new students. Haven’t played basketball since high school? Search MeetUP for pick up games near you. Trying new things doesn’t have to be expensive.
Talk about it.
There’s no shame in trying something new no matter how old you are. Talk about your journey. Throw it out there. The more you open up about your new interest, the more you’ll find opportunities to make it possible. And, your network may surprise you. You could already know someone tied into the very thing you’re looking to pursue, it’s just never come up. Whatever you’re into, there’s someone out there who does it and loves it. People who are passionate about their interests are more than happy to talk to you, share their experiences, and encourage you to try.
Approach with optimism.
Change is like any other mind-altering experience. If you approach the experience with fear and trepidation, you’ll have a bad trip. Be optimistic as you venture into the unknown with the certainty that one of two things will happen: 1. You’ll love it and keep doing it, or 2. You’ll hate it and stop doing it. Either way, you’ll learn something about yourself in the process.
But get ready to be uncomfortable.
While it’s important to stay positive, prepare to feel uncomfortable. If you’re doing it right, you’ll feel like a fish out of water. Why? Because you’ve extended yourself outside your comfort zone. With any new experience or skill, you will probably suck at first. You may look silly. You’ll ask dumb questions. We power through this as children, when our lives are filled with new experiences and falling down was a natural part of the day. As adults, we can be afraid of stumbling in front of others or failing when we’re responsible for so much. Which leads to a critical point:
It’s ok to fail.
More than one friend has said that if they can’t be good at something, they aren’t going to try it. That statement has always baffled me. How can you be good at something you’ve never done? How do you know what it takes to be good at it until you’ve tried? How could you possibly estimate how your current skills would translate into an entirely new experience until you’ve actually done it? The concept is completely egotistical and predicated on the assumption that you already know everything.
By that logic, you could only ever continue to the same or similar things. You’d have no new experiences until you die. Literally the next new thing you’d try is death. If you’re perfect as you are, great. But what if you’re unhappy? Or worse, what if you don’t like yourself? How are you ever supposed to grow if you don’t allow yourself to be different and by extension, potentially fail?
That said, fear of failure is a real thing that could make changing especially tough for you. Look into it before tackling new things if you think this is you.
Give yourself a trial period.
I generally use three months. It takes me three months to be completely cold on a subject to learning enough to at least know whether I want/can do it. No one’s good at something the first time. It’s important to give your new experience a fair shake, but it’s also important to assess. Just because you tried something doesn’t mean you have to do it forever. Set a deadline to review the experiment and make an educated decision about it. Consider what you learned about the topic but more importantly, about yourself. What worked? What didn’t?
It was time well spent. No matter what you’ve tried and whether it worked out, be proud of what you’ve done. You’ve grown as a person because you tried something new. You’ve enriched your life and experienced other benefits simply by trying. There is a nobility in the effort, and it was not wasted. Regardless of the outcome, at least you can say you tried.
As we make our resolutions for 2020, let’s remember to add and not just subtract. Yes, you should quit all those bad habits and lose that 10 lbs. But, let the champagne and optimism of the New Year remind you that anything is possible. You are capable of a great many things if you give yourself a chance at change.
Alana Belk 
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